Oscar Morataya

My journey started when my 10-year marriage ended in divorce around mid 2016 and I became a fully involved co-parent (by choice) of two amazing kids (4 & 2 years old). I was in search of meaning and connection. When I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I found myself scared, frustrated, and sad because we were not able to communicate and find common ground. We bought online courses, read books, and tried therapy for over a year. I did not see significant improvements in our relationship.

One day, I reached out to a friend and she let me borrow a book “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg. It opened my eyes to how society and the world communicates and I felt sad that my entire life I had learned to communicate by judging instead of understanding others. It was not my fault or my ex-girlfriend’s fault, it was simply how society communicates and very few people are aware of it. The book helped me think how to choose my words differently to express myself with clarity. I used my active listening tools, NCV and several other books and documentaries to re-define the relationship with my mind, body, home and environment.

After I changed my behavior to express myself with compassion towards everyone (including myself), I felt at peace and happy. I learned the tools to save my ex-girlfriend’s friendship, improve my relationship with my kids and appreciate my colleagues best. My kids say to each other across the dining table “Dad is so different now”. If they get mad or I get mad, we know how to reach out for a hug knowing we are safe. My former bonus son told me once (Jan 2024) “you should be a therapist”. At work, my former CIO/boss told me that I always keep a positive attitude. The feedback I get from family and friends is phenomenal. I feel liberated from all external judgment and I feel at peace with myself and those I love!

Life is so beautiful, sometimes we just need a new lens to see it.